Living Without A Safety Net

The celebration ended abruptly when we realized that there was no longer a medical team around for the “what ifs”…

The Path To Home

I’ll never forget when we decided we’d had enough rehab and chose to go home.

Like I describe in my book, it was such a liberating feeling.

The lab sent their vampires to draw blood for the morning and I happily told them “No chance.” They weren’t happy but I was leaving. Who cares what they think?

• Nurses were reading me discharge papers
• Doctors were advising me to stay longer
• We took a quick tour around CICU to say goodbye to our new friends

And then they were wheeling me down to meet Felicia when she pulled up in our truck.

Reality Check

The excitement was real but it was short lived. I had taken for granted just how much I had been cared for.

• I was winded from getting in the truck and all of the excitement. And no nurses came in to check my vitals.
• Getting out of the truck, my balance wasn’t so great. No therapists were there to help me balance.
• Stepping off a curb I wondered if I might fall. And there would be no one around to help me off the ground.

We ate at a BBQ place that evening and, while I managed to get ON the toilet, I could not pull myself back up.

Eventually, Felicia had to come looking for me and help me to my feet in the men’s room.

Reality was no friend of mine. Even out of the hospital, the nightmare continued.

The Night Wasn’t Better

After dying 3 times, one of which I remember, I found myself a bit on edge when things didn’t feel right.

That night, in a hotel room, I held my wife for the first time in 52 days. I had no idea the mental state that would put me in to feel someone else against me and to feel the heat from another person.

Panic. There was panic.

Once again, no one came running into the room to help me or calm me with medications. It was me and my wife.

More than once, while going through this, I thought I was dying again. And its hard to get calm yourself down when you think death is upon you.

The Lesson Learned

While my stay in the hospital was excessive (52 days) and my loss was quite substantial, it probably would have been wiser to stay in the hospital a little longer while I regained some strength.

Even back at home, I found myself to be helpless and a total burden on everyone around me.

While no one could really blame me for wanting to get out of there, I wasn’t thinking of the cost and stress to those around me. And, to be honest, they weren’t either.

They just wanted me home.

But, as I’ll cover in other posts, if you can keep from rushing your departure, get everything you can from your professionals in the facility.

Leave and go home when you can do so under your own strength and control.

Save yourself the panic and the fears. I was blessed enough to not fall and to have loved ones around me who were patient and thankful for me to be home.

If I had been alone or with less understanding people around me? It would have been a very different story.

For stories like this one and many more, check out my book!

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