The Hospital’s Nickname I Refused to Accept

Clearly, she didn’t think it through… And that was the ONLY time anyone ever called me…

The Problem With Life Support

There’s no doubt that life support saves a lot of people who, without it, would die much earlier than necessary. But it does have it’s complications.

• Fingers and toes that don’t move enough become locked or stiffened
• Nerves that lay against an object will pinch, die, and even sever
• Unused muscles will begin to atrophy
• Respirators can cause lungs to lose their elasticity
• And unused body parts will freeze in place.

Almost all of this happened to me… but today, we’ll just focus on that last one.

Hard News To Swallow

Once the intubation (respirator) was removed from my throat, Speech Therapy had to clear me before I was allowed to swallow anything.

Unfortunately, after ingesting barium covered fruit while being x-rayed, I was told I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything.

Even when my mouth was incredibly dry and my Felicia brought me biotin (fake spit), the therapist saw it and said it could cause serious harm.

The issue was that my epiglottis was stuck open, dumping food and water straight into my lungs rather than my stomach.

And with my system all jacked up, I wouldn’t cough or even realize it until I was drowning again. No good.

Insane Treatments

After having a doctor run a camera up my hose and down my throat while I gagged and tried not to vomit, they came up with a plan of action.

First, she would shave under my beard and begin shocking my throat to see if she could wake it up.

You read that right… they were shocking me… in my throat…

And between treatments, I had an even worse exercise. I had a list of noises I had to make loud enough to workout my throat.

• Oooooooo Oooooooo Oooooooo
• eeeEEEeee eeeEEEeee eeeEEEeee
• OH! OH! OH!
• aaaAAAaaa aaaAAAaaa
• And so on…

Nevermind what anyone might think as they walked past my room. I just hope they’ve all forgotten it by now.

The Treatments Get Crazier

As another week slipped by with no swallowing, I was over 1 month with no food or drink by mouth.

By this time, they had cut a hold straight through my abdomen and put a tube in my stomach so they could pour liquid food in.

But then a doctor came in with a new idea.

“We’re going to run a scope down your throat with an inflatable balloon on the end. We’ll inflate it every so often to stretch your throat as we go.”

Let’s do it! What could go wrong?!

Just a possible tear in the throat wall causing bleeding that would go into my lungs. That’s all.

But we made the decision. It had to be done.

A Success And A Failure

After waking from the procedure, Speech took me down to test me and discovered that I could swallow properly again.

Keep in mind that, by this time, I was world famous. Felicia had already been interviewed on:

• Fox News
• CNN national News
• Good Morning America
• People Magazine
• And many more.

One doctor said “Michelle Obama was trying to give a speech but Felicia had all the air time tied up.”

They wheeled me from testing area and into an elevator. The nurses onboard, whom I’d never seen before, said “Congratulations on passing your swallow test!”

People in the hallway on the way back to my room clapped and congratulated me.

All of the nurses in CICU already knew and congratulated me as soon as the doors opened.

One therapist came by and said “Its all anyone is talking about in the cafeteria!”

And then my doctors came in the room to tell me the results. And here it comes…

“Congratulations Mr. York! You passed your swallow study and should be able to start eating again! We’re going to start calling you…

“The Swallower”.

And they weren’t even kidding. I looked at them a little incredulously and said “I’d really rather you not.”

They looked at each other confused and then one of them widened her eyes in realization. “OH! NO!”

Then the other caught on. “Oh my goodness… I’m so sorry.”

And then we all had a much needed laugh.

A Happy Ending

They wrapped all of this up just before Valentine’s night… a night that turned into one of the most memorable Valentine’s nights we’ve had.

But that’s a story for another time.

If these types of stories what keeps you reading, you’ll love the rest of my story. A story about dying, clawing my way back, and spending years to become even stronger than I was before.