Tag: ecmo
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The Deafening Silence
There wasn’t a single sound that could be considered loud, offensive, or out of place… and it was literally driving me crazy. What You Can Get Used To I wouldn’t ever go so far as to say a hospital room is peaceful. Especially not in a CICU. When you’re laying in that bed you hear…
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The Hospital’s Nickname I Refused to Accept
Clearly, she didn’t think it through… And that was the ONLY time anyone ever called me… The Problem With Life Support There’s no doubt that life support saves a lot of people who, without it, would die much earlier than necessary. But it does have it’s complications. Almost all of this happened to me… but…
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Suicide & A Vision (Part 2)
The decision to live or die seems like an easy one to most. But on that day… If you haven’t read part one about my struggle with suicide, you can read it by clicking here. The Ongoing Struggle While the decision had been made for that fateful night, the idea of taking my own life…
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My Struggle With Suicide – And Why I Chose Life
I didn’t consider suicide because I hated myself so much… but because I loved my family more. Discovering Depression To be completely honest, prior to my stay in the hospital, I didn’t even believe in depression. I believed in sadness. I believed in anger and frustration. And depression was just a trendy little word to…
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Living Without A Safety Net
The celebration ended abruptly when we realized that there was no longer a medical team around for the “what ifs”… The Path To Home I’ll never forget when we decided we’d had enough rehab and chose to go home. Like I describe in my book, it was such a liberating feeling. The lab sent their…
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The Most Surprising Thing That Nearly Broke Me in the ICU
Oddly enough, the extreme boredom drove me crazier than the immense and constant pain. It May Sound Nice… But… For me, the coma was the easy part. I simply went to sleep one day and, 24 days later, woke up. Granted I suffered nightmarish hallucinations that still plague my mind even 7 years later. You…
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Twisting Testes To Stop A Seizure
It was real. She did it. I remember it as clear as day. The Situation I was intubated. Naked except for a sheet draped across my midsection. There was a lot of machinery around me and a bright light above me, somewhat blinding. My wife was there. Always there, loyal and beautiful. And, much to…
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The Time I Tried To Put A Hit On My Nurse
Nurses have to put up with a lot of “crazy” with patients who are out of their mind. But I often wonder if I’m the only one who tried to put out a hit on one. Ok… Let Me Explain Myself When you’ve been in a coma for a month, things are already bad enough.…
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My First Time Standing – And The Horrifying Discovery
For the first time I realized just how absolutely dead and useless my legs truly were. Legs Like Wooden Blocks Not everyone will know this, but it is common practice to move a patient in the hospital every couple of hours. This: However, in my incredibly critical state, most of my nurses didn’t consider “moving…
Pardon Our Progress 